29 July 2008

Beijing


Flying a kite in Tiananmen Square in the heavy pollution, from the IHT.

And what does this tell you?
Faced with the prospect of dangerously high levels of air pollution during the Games, International Olympic Committee officials have warned that competition in endurance sports, such as the marathon and long-distance cycling, might be postponed or even canceled. The world’s fastest marathon runner, Haile Gebrselassie, has already withdrawn from the Olympic race for fear that air pollution might permanently damage his health. Many athletes are planning to take precautions, such as arriving in Beijing as late as possible, coming well equipped with medication for possible asthma attacks, and wearing masks once there.
- From China’s Olympic Nightmare by Elizabeth C. Economy and Adam Segal in Foreign Affairs.

Here's more from the WSJ.

Beijing, tighten up.

superfluous musicians

Bon Iver is awesome. I like him a lot. He also happens to be pretty amazing live with nothing more than a resonator guitar, vocal, and bass drum. But then there's these two cats he brings along with him on tour--you know, the guy using a snare drum and the other dude beating on a wooden box?

I'm not saying that sparse percussion is a bad idea--I think it's tremendously effective--but these two (2!) guys are catching the world's biggest free ride off a guy who is doing 100x the emoting...it's like he's the whole racecar and they're the mudflaps. Unless they're spiritual advisors, I can't see how it's worth dragging around the extra weight. I'm pretty sure I'd rather half Rolph from the Muppet Babies, or at least Animal, the drummer from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

23 July 2008

White Trash is Loose: The Evidence


This is a Thomas Kinkade limited release. Yes, the Thomas Kinkade that has "fine" art stores in local malls. There is nothing like purchasing your culture between an Orange Julius and a Journey's...

16 July 2008

Fantasy Island



Please go to fantasy island to play your pretend sport, o people who feel the need to talk about Fantasy Baseball constantly.
(We will forget for a moment that playing a pretend sport is untight.)

I'm so glad that you have a hobby. I am.
But frankly, it's like listening to someone talk about their imaginary friend for hours ... it's just sad. That said, my pity only extends so far, as the unrelenting conversation about something that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST is making me hate the sport of real baseball and you.

Go play a real sport ... except kickball... and tighten up.

13 July 2008

Liveblogging from Cleveland Hopkins Airport! Southwest Sucks....




George W. Bush and SWA share more traits than one might think. Both are from Texas. Both are accused of lying to the American people. Coincidentally, both are motivated by fuel as I learned today!

I am currently sitting in Cleveland Hopkins Airport. Sitting in an airport based on lies. The friendly folks at the Southwest Airline's ticket desk have been announcing for several hours that BWI is closed because of weather. When I contacted my friends in Washington to let them know I was delayed, they informed me that there were NO storms and the weather was actually quite beautiful. So I pulled out my computer. Wowsers! BWI airport's skycam shows crystal clear skies and weather conditions say scattered clouds. Hmmmm.

My inner sleuth could not handle the possibility of being deceived so I took it further. I contacted 1-800-I-FLY-SWA.

"Sir, why is BWI closed?"

SWA Dude: "BWI, closed? It is not..."

"Well, I'm in Cleveland and your people are telling us that BWI is closed."

SWA Dude: "Hold on, I'll look into it. (PAUSE) Well, it looks like there are some delays from other flights that might be holding you all up. You're plane is on the ground in CLE."

"So why are they saying BWI is closed?"

SWA Dude: "Well, because of the cost of fuel. We used to send flights out ASAP but now rather than circling around until being given the go-ahead to land, we wait until you are guaranteed a land time."

"So they are lying? But I have a computer and a blackberry and a phone!?!?!!? There is wireless internet in the airport!"

SWA Dude: "Yeah, that gets us into trouble sometimes."

Just then I hear the woman at the SWA counter telling an elderly woman:

"Whenever the airport re-opens. I don't know...whenever they re-open the airport! I'm really sorry but I have no information for you until they update us at 5:30 (2+ hours delayed). Then, they will let us know if the airport is open."

Needless to say, I won't be partaking in this airline's bargain prices again. I can handle the cattle call boarding procedure, the annoying song & dance flight attendants but I can't handle the lies.


TIGHTEN THE HELL UP SWA and get this little soldier out of Cleveland!!!!!!!!!

Apostrofail


This was not the wedding of a man named Robert; it was the wedding of a woman whose last name is Roberts. No apostrophe necessary.

10 July 2008

New *Diamond* Shreddies


Perhaps a TU is in order for lack of innovation, but in the spirit of Google April Fools' Day gags, +5! Oh, those cooky Canadians and their Shreddies.

09 July 2008

Kinkos: What the hell is wrong with you people?


The sign says you open at 9am.
I arrived at 9:15, and you weren't open.
I texted Becca because this was too classic.

I waited.

At 9:18, a woman saunters up to the door, looks at me, and says "are you looking for me?"

Not any more. Kinkos, tighten the f up.

02 July 2008

Interns: Know Your Role.


Dearest Interns,

I'm so glad you are here. Welcome. Now kindly shut up and don't talk.
No, I don't want to hear about the student newspaper - nope not about your friends who know someone who knows someone who used to work for Hillary Clinton either. Simple one word answers to polite obligatory questions like "Where do you go to school?" are adequate and frankly preferred in email form.
Why are you still talking?
I hate to be the one to tell you, you have decided to pursue a career in a dying industry, basically like graduating with a degree in 8 track repair.
But if you insist on sticking around,the following things are untight: talking, running through the office to flirt with make co-workers by offering them baked goods - it's not professional and that guy could be your dad, asking me for work to do - if I need you I'll find you, approaching my desk, using the word "passion," talking.


Thanks so much.

xo - Brenda