Well my little shredded friend, it's no secret that you are tasty, that you are wholesome and nutritious, but you suck when it comes to keeping it together in milk. No sooner have I poured milk on you, put the container back in the fridge, and sat on the couch, than you are soggy. My friend Pepper says your downfall is the capillary effect, that you have no choice but to soak up milk, but this does not temper my dismay. Tighten up Post cereal scientists! Didn't you get your degrees in cereal engineering? If not, maybe you should go back to school with Pepper and learn about the capillary effect. After that, you can come back and build me some shredded wheat that holds its own in the bowl.
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