23 February 2007

10 bucks says they're all from Orange County, California

One consequence of my not having cable TV is getting all reacquainted with late-night talk show high jinks. Conan O'Brien - funny! Carson Daly - still there! And Jay Leno is still doing that Jay Walking bit where randomly selected pedestrians fail to name the capital of Germany or recognize pictures of Condoleeza Rice. This is a spectacular way for me to feel superior to others while sitting in my not-unmessy living room, watching TV with a jar of Peanut Butter & Co White Chocolate Wonderful. "Ha ha! You sad waste of sorority membership fees! "Old Hickory" was a president, sweetie, not a clock! Ha ha!"

Less funny (though by no means a blow to my superiority complex) is knowing that those people, when bunched together into a quantifiable demographic, equal
this. If this ACNielsen poll is to be believed, many many American internet users have never. Heard. Of. Global. Warming. Not "don't accept the overwhelmingly convincing evidence of". Not "too busy watching FOX News to really worry about". No! Never heard of! That is some serious shit that needs immediate tightening!

I call for a federal intervention whereby suspected concentrations of obliviousness are immediately papered with those photos of polar bears stuck on fucking floating BITS OF ICECAP. No no, wait, better: replace polar bear with baby bear Bush and let him float along until he gets to Kyoto or someplace with SYMBOLISM. Not that he'll get it.

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