As avid readers will attest, I have been portrayed, by some of the more uncouth of our writers, as a "ladies man." I do not refute this claim. I do like the ladies and I do let them know, as responsibly as possible of course. Be that as it may, even I occasionally fall off my high horse. After discussing my weekend jaunt down to Miami with Becca, I realized that I was making nothing but the most weak and feeble of excuses to explain my poor performance in a town that John Ashcroft could score in.
My meager reasoning was as follows. My coworkers, most of whom "bat for the other team," so to speak, and I were hanging out all weekend in the various posh clubs and bars of Miami. I explained to Becca that I thought I was being ignored by the ladies because they all thought I was gay as well, when Becca saw fit to tighten me up by responding, "Pete, listen to me. I'd call you a lot of things, but gay isn't one of them. You couldn't appear gay if you were in drag."
I'd like to thank Becca for forcing me to realize exactly what I was doing. My inability to attract the attention of the female gender this weekend had nothing to do with who I was with, but rather with my poor game. Therefore, I must tighten that shit up.