18 June 2008


In your "relationship status" you have your significant others name... you have a bunch of super cute quotes from them in your "quotes" field, an album of pictures in your "photos" AND a set of sweet "gifts" they have given you.

For the love of Christ - do they really have to be in your profile photo too?
It's FACEbook... not FACESbook.

I won't even start on people who have pictures of their baby INSTEAD of them ... another post ... another angry day.

17 June 2008

Open Letter to Delta: I Hate You.

Dear Delta Airlines,
I'm writing to thank you for my wonderful experience on a recent flight to Denver connecting through Cincinnati. Unlike other airlines, that take you to the destination that you initially planned to travel to - you anticipated my needs before I even knew I had them. Instead of taking me to Denver - you decided to sit on the runway for three and a half hours at Dulles... updating me and my fellow passengers three times that the runway in Cincinnati was closed so we could not take off.
Miraculously in the meantime, my connecting flight managed to take off and leave ... early even! I can only assume this was a fluke and that the connecting plane was flown by unicorns or angels.
While initially I was - I'll admit - murderously angry ... I didn't realize that you just wanted me to have Skyline Chili in Cincinnati because you knew that the crackers that you brought around during my stay on your lovely airplane were disgusting.
So thanks Delta - the chili was indeed delicious and I arrived in Denver the next day - exhausted ... but fed.

Xoxo -

P.S. Fuck You.

13 June 2008

Note to self:

Stop hitting "Reply all" by accident. You look like a dorkus malorkus.

12 June 2008

Tight Idea for the Becca and Pepper's Honeymoon

Unisex: If Brenda Starr and Teddy Ruxtable had a baby...

"This is a demonstration that the fabled unicorn, which we all know from icons and legends, probably was not just a fantasy. It was probably an animal like this one, with a natural anomaly."

Starr Ruxtable lives in an Italian nature preserve - where Brenda and I believe all children should be sent until they are of drinking age. See you in 20 years and 2 months little unicorn!

10 June 2008

McCain, you're a jackass

Earlier this month, John McCain told the following joke at a Republican Senate fundraiser (story at Salon.com):

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because her father is Janet Reno."

What?! This is the kind of thing elementary school kids or drunk 20-somethings say. This begs the question, Has John McCain's old brain retreated to 5th grade or is he just drunk?

Yes, I know it's just a joke, but this man is running for prez, and eight years of jackass in the White House is already eight years too many.

Unfortunately, although many newspapers reported on the joke, few major papers actually published its words, citing it as too viscious. I call that soft reporting with a little sugar coating. I don't need to be coddled by journalists. Give me the details, you hacks.

Thus, the tighten smacks twice: John McCain and News Media, tighten up!

06 June 2008

Guatemala Tightness

I saw this in a restaurant in Guatemala and couldn't agree more.

Happy Friday everyone!

Hey, 'merica

The good news is that the presidential election is in effect a referendum on the war in Iraq. The bad news is America is dangerously unimpressed with the violence that still occurs daily. We're all consumed by how much gas costs, SITC, and Bill Clinton's vanity fair article. I realize that violence has a numbing effect, but too many of us, myself included, glaze over when we read this. Tighten up Estados Unidos, we're still paying a bejesus amount of money for a fool's war.

Iraqi civilians: Estimates from 49,000 (Iraq Body Count) and 655,000 (Lancet, 2006)
Iraqi security forces*: 5,556
US military: 2,812
UK military: 120
Other coalition military: 119
Journalists: 77
*Since June 2003
Source: Brookings Institution

04 June 2008

Loose Planning

I am spending this week in Nashville, Tennessee working at a storage facility which provides me with ample time to job hunt, read, surf the internet and, of course, blog post. I have been noticing Nashville's architecture since I have been here and have decided that i hate it. Utterly and completely hate it. This cities renaissances have come during unfortunately disparate times in architectural style. The first came in the late 1890's giving us the Victorian Union Station and Gothic Revival Customs House, another came in the 1970's giving the city dozens of classic modern structures, and finally from the 90's to today with the Post-Modern LP Field and AT&T Buildings and the Neo-classic Schermerhorn Center. In addition to this public confusion, Nashville is also the state capital of Tennessee, so there is a large Federal/Beaux Arts civic center right in the middle of it all. To top it all off, Nashville has a 1-1 scale reproduction of the Parthenon in a neighboring park.

Obviously every city in the country has a jumble of disparate architectural styles that can be loosely associated with the rise and fall of successful economic conditions within the cities, but Nashville has so poorly integrated and planned each build cycle, the resident is left totally distracted by the situation. Just about every architectural style I know of is represented in a city that is not big enough to disperse the effects of the competing aesthetics. Every time I look up I just want to bulldoze half of what I see to make my eyes stop burning. Ponder the following photos...

The final image is the propsed mixed-use tower that will add to the calamity. I encourage you to Google image search for more pictures before you make a judgment. Also bear in mind that all of the above pictures encompass about 8 square blocks...

Tighten it up Nashville city planners. It looks gross.

02 June 2008

If Jack Bauer were a cat

This cat is tight. If I were to start an army, I would pick Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, and this cat.