05 May 2008

I Scream.



So I'll admit - I have a phobia of ice cream trucks. At some point in the 80's a kid was hit by a car as he ran across the street for ice cream, so my concerned mother instilled the following equation in my head: Ice Cream Truck = DEATH.

Hey - D.C. mobile ice cream vendors you are doing nothing to help me get over this deep seated fear. LOOK AT YOU - your windows are tinted and you are driving an old VAN. The only reason I know you sell ice cream is that I hear creepy tinny "ice cream truck music" coming from your VAN'S STEREO and that it does indeed say "ICE CREAM" on your VAN (on one side ... only partially covering the old logo from a carpet company).

It is not called an ice cream van - it is suppose to be an ice cream truck.

If you must be a dessert cart of death ... at least be a tight one.

8 comments:

Pepper said...

i'm pretty sure those vans are carting illegal pandas. i bet if you stopped one and asked for a rocket pop, you'd get socked in the face just as you got a glimpse of Tai Shan tied to a chair in the back.

Sarah said...

pepper i love you for that comment.

when i was in baltimore on saturday night, we were walking to a party near the abandoned railroad tracks and down a dark, creepy street there was an ice cream truck playing its music. It was explained to me that it was the ice cream truck that sold crack. maybe this is the same thing?

and pete, when i say "party by the abandoned rail road tracks in baltimore" i mean i was at my parents' house knitting and playing cards.

The Becca said...

Sarah was playing Mah Jongg.

PS Brenda, I heart you.
dessert cart of death.

Pete said...

Why do you do things like this to me? I mean really...

Dark alleys and abandoned rail road tracks? Seriously?

In BALTIMORE?!?!

BTW- The liklihood of those trucks actually selling ice cream is very small. They are clearly the child molester equivalent of the Thundercats Thunder-Tank...

mandy said...

ha ha ha ha: Those images remind me of this modded "motivational" poster.

Brenda Starr said...

Mandy ... my computer is now covered in Diet Coke ... omg that is funny.

Brenda Starr said...

The following comment is not that of Brenda Starr.
It is from a native of this fine city who clearly has never seen a real ice cream truck and thinks that a milkshake can only be made if a it's being sold from a van with hydraulics.

"Listen, just because Chocolate City's frozen water treats industry isn't as affluent as the softserve half caf latte snow cone merchants in your fly over suburban hometowns doesn't mean you need to get all racial.
Also, crack is the new rainbow sprinkles. "

mandy said...

Gimme the jimmies!!