Untight Old Style

There's been too much praising around here today. And I'm cranky. As such:
You know what else white people like? Heading fonts that don't bore one to tears. Tighten!

Dear Papyrus Font,

It's time to bow out. It's too late to do so gracefully, and I'm sure you'll disappoint some Irish pub owners, homemade-greeting-card-making mothers, and highschool science fair students, but they're happy-go-lucky folks and can handle it.

At some point or another, we all fell prey to your vaguely mysterious angles, irregular serifs, and simulated brushstrokes, but let's be honest here: who's still wearing slap bracelets, fannypacks, and pump sneakers? Exactly.

Microsoft fontdustrial complex, tighten up.

PS A nod to www.iheartpapyrus.com for getting it together, and putting it on a t-shirt.