Dear Ticketwhoremaster,

Explain to me how a service fee is different from a processing fee. Then explain to me why it costs me another $2.50 to print out your ticket from my printer, using my ink.

Then explain to me why you haven't been broken up by the FCC as a obvious cartel between venues, bands, and you.

Please, collegehumor.com/vimeo/webzine affiliates, explain why no other ticket provider can provide this service at a more reasonable price? WTF?!