Well my little shredded friend, it's no secret that you are tasty, that you are wholesome and nutritious, but you suck when it comes to keeping it together in milk. No sooner have I poured milk on you, put the container back in the fridge, and sat on the couch, than you are soggy. My friend Pepper says your downfall is the capillary effect, that you have no choice but to soak up milk, but this does not temper my dismay. Tighten up Post cereal scientists! Didn't you get your degrees in cereal engineering? If not, maybe you should go back to school with Pepper and learn about the capillary effect. After that, you can come back and build me some shredded wheat that holds its own in the bowl.
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5 comments:
Oh, the shreaded wheat is yours. I apparently ate some of your cereal 2 weekends ago...
AND I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN! I have written Shredded Wheat a love note, in response to your evil back stabbing criticism on such a good doer.
Dearest Shredded Wheat,
Unlike your cruel master, Will, I accept, NAY, embrace your sogginess in milk. Upon the morrow, I will sup upon your delicious shreds of wheaty goodness and nary once object to your softening body.
Yours truly my darling,
Becca
PS, Will, get me some non lactaid milk.
Shredded Wheat has been at the top of the breakfast food game for so long, throwing a tighten at it is like sprinting past Lance Armstrong at the base of the Alpe d'Huez. It's flashy and it looks good for the cameras, but you know you're not gonna win...
Pete, are you suggesting that I'm eating Lance Armstrong for breakfast every morning? That's just gross ... but it does explain the yellow jersey I saw at the bottom of the cereal box.
Shredded Wheat was first introduced to the American public at the World's Columbian Exposition of 1893 in Chicago. Like other things popularized by the fair--i.e. Beaux Arts architecture--shredded wheat indeed has moisture retention issues.
Also like Beaux Arts architecture, some people are into shredded wheat, and some are not. I'm glad that we have been able to air these grievances in a public forum.
Will, she is gonna do it again. There's nothing I can do but watch.
Will, I'm going to eat all of that Shredded Wheat... You better be ready.
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