Sorry Columbia students.... I have to do it

Because it needs to be done.
Columbia University needs to Tighten Up. Way to invite Ahmadinejad to speak at your oh so heavy with Ivy hallowed walls. You've pretty much confirmed for my father that my boyfriend is a wacko leftist weirdo for attending graduate school Columbia. Way to go, assholes.

Now, Columbia, if you're going to do something this stupid, you better man up and be prepared for the firestorm. I can respect you for "robust debate" and I am all for free speech, but you better damn well understand how this makes you look in the eyes of many Americans.

And while you're at it, you could consider a little paint here and there where the students actually have class, not just prettying up the outside all the time so none of the passersby suspect that the historic preservation building is held together with duct tape. It's disgraceful. And I went to a PUBLIC SCHOOL, where a map fell of the wall during class and hit me on the head, so I know a little about class in shitty conditions.

Speaking of mascots,

What numbskull(s) thought up "Earl and Pearl"?!?

I ponder this every time I sip Ovaltine from this pearly-white plastic cup, and then I realized it deserved a new kind of crack-down: The Nostalgic TU. Anthropomorphized male and female squirrels never add up to even the most mediocre idea for a mascot, unless it involves an amazingly funny joke about busting and/or cracking nuts, but even that's a stretch.

To our Third Year Council of yore, a way overdue tighten up! Future Third-Year Councils, please don't disappoint your constituents or you will be fucking stupefied by all the TUs.

A letter from, and response to, Cavman.

Vote for Cavman in the
All-American Mascot Challenge

Dear Virginia Graduate,

I, Cavman, have been selected as one of 12 finalists in this year's CapitalOne All-American Mascot Challenge and I need your help. Each week throughout the football season, Cavman will compete against a mascot from another school. The winner each week is based solely on fan voting. You will be able to vote daily and you must vote for each mascot match-up for your vote to count. Click below to vote for Cavman vs. Akron's Zippy.

Vote Now

Thank you and Go `Hoos!

Cavman

Copyright © 2007

U.Va. Alumni Association
434-243-9000 | alumni-assoc@virginia.edu
P.O. Box 400314, Charlottesville, VA 22904-4314
____________________________________

Dear Cavman,

No.

Kind Regards,
Board of Directors
The Tighten Up Report

A&S Online: Get Actual Topics

Now I know exactly why University of Virginia's College of Arts and Sciences is referred to as the "College of Arts and Crafts". Apparently the College finds the topic categories "Body & Mind" and "Earth & Sky" as a helpful means for traversing their website. Patchouli jokes aside, this is not helpful. Not one bit. Those are about the four most ambiguous words ever. Not to mention that coupling them with ampersands is to multiply that ambiguity exponentially. Thanks for giving us CLAS alumni such a good wrap, A&S Online. But if you change your mind, tighten up!