New *Diamond* Shreddies

Perhaps a TU is in order for lack of innovation, but in the spirit of Google April Fools' Day gags, +5! Oh, those cooky Canadians and their Shreddies.

Malt O Meal Cereal: Don't eat that wheat!

It's no secret that a lot of contributors to tTUR are cereal enthusiasts. Well, lovers of whole grain and puffed wheat, be careful where you dip that spoon: Malt O Meal has been linked to at least 23 cases of salmonellosis reported in 14 states:

The cereals, which were recalled in the U.S. on April 5, were also sold under the brand names Acme, America's Choice, Food Club, Giant, Hannaford, Jewel, Laura Lynn, Pathmark, Shaw's, Shoprite, Tops and Weis Quality. The affected cereals [unsweetened Puffed Rice and unsweetened Puffed Wheat] were marked with the best-before date of April 8, 2008, through Mar. 18, 2009.

Gross. How the hell did salmonella agona get in your cereals, Malt O Meal!?! Cereaously loose, guys. Seriously.

Krasdale Fruit Circles Suck

I hate Krasdale Fruit Circles. I bought a box of them because I didn't feel like paying the huge markup on Fruit Loops at the AppleTree Market, and you better believe I regret it.

The rub is that generic cereal is almost always good--you know that when you buy ChocoJimmies, Baron Von Count's Chocolate Jubilee, or Admiral Sugartreat's Fantastical Awesomesquares, you're going to get a reasonable facsimile of the cereal they are obviously copying.

Not so with this Krasdale bullshit. The Fruit Circles have a brown patina, and they're mealy and gross. I want my $2.19 back, and a personal apology from Mr. Krasdale.

And another thing: your games suck. A crossword puzzle? What are you, the Mini-Page?

Tighten it Up, Krasdale.