28 August 2007
If I only had a map. Or a brain. Or such as U.S. Americans.
I'm going to reconsider my position on not watching beauty pageants because, while this may be one of the scariest displays of stereotypical bombshell ditziness and ignorance I've ever seen, it's also one of the funniest. Especially given how hard Mario Lopez is simultaneously trying not to laugh and trying to look sincere so he can maybe get into Miss Teen South Carolina's "Mrtyle Beach" later.
[Only 1/5 of Americans can find the U.S. on a world map?!? Can that really be possible?!?]
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Miss South Carolina explains.
MANDY YOU TOTALLY BEAT ME OUT ON THIS ONE!!!!!!! Good work with your superfast tightening reflexes.
Also, please allow me to say this (clears throat): SHUT THE FUCK UP MISS SOUTH CAROLINA! No one cares about your lame excuses. You are stupid. That is a statement of fact. Be a half way decent bitch about it and accept your suckiness. It is only then that you can real pop culture salvation.
Does anyone know Miss South Carolina? Can I be introduced? Good wife material there.
Ms SC- Where were you last night?
Pete- I had to take a quick train to Perpignan for work.
Ms SC- really?
Pete- Go look it up on a map, if you don't believe me.
Ms SC- Oh, umm, never mind. Dinner's ready.
Pete- Honey, you don't have to wear that French maid outfit all the time. Unless you want to.
PS- Perpignan is in the south of France, for you 1/5.
PPS- I may have gotten slightly carried away on this comment. Sorry.
::falls over laughing::
Becca: 1) Oh, snap! You'll trump me next time, no doubt.
2) Heck, yeah. I love that it took the time between the pageant and the Today Show to formulate all of, "then schools should focus on geography".
I'm actually uber disappointed in Ann Curry: For a while I had a little lady-crush on her for being the only one on the Today Show who didn't suck hard and actually sounded intelligent, but once she started clapping and "yaying" after Miss SC's speech in that explanation vid, I vomited a little in my mouth.
3) Pete, I heard Miss SC's waiting on a train to get to Hawaii . . .
I just can't believe how many things she believes. Can you believe it? Good thing she has beliefs, right? I believe I'll get on that train to Hawaii, too.
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