College Students Tightening Their Shit Up, Study Says

According to a study by San Diego (a.k.a. Whale's Vagina) State University, college students have become increasingly narcissistic between 1982 and 2006. How is this measured? Well, of course, by the "Narcissistic Personality Inventory " or NPI for short. Apparently in 2006, more than two-thirds of all students had above average scores. For one of the leaders of the study, this is apparently a big problem.

"We need to stop endlessly repeating 'You're special' and having children repeat that back," said the study's lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. "Kids are self-centered enough already."

While I tend to agree with her, as recent graduates I believe we should pat ourselves on the backs for raising the bar on yet another test. High NPI scores can only lead to more and more feelings of being special and pretty. Who needs emotions and relationships with scores like this to make us feel good. We have really tightened our shit up. Eat your heart out Carly Simon, this song IS about me.