14 June 2007

Get your own damned date.

Life is hard. People who are good at life are good at balancing different forces that act upon them. That's why this business I heard advertised on the radio, MLP & Associates, terrifies me. MLP is a service that one hires to find one's self a life partner. Here's the opening salvo from their website:

Like I said, terrified. An online date service is one thing: people have profiles, it's not impossibly dissimilar from a social networking website. This, on the other hand, is like hiring a private eye to stalk a date for you:

Traditional? Really? Maybe for a headhunter. "God, I can remember when I recruited, screened, and interviewed my wife. It was so romantic. She was wearing a conservative gray suit and sassy silk scarf. It said, 'I have personality, but not too much. I'll bear your children, and put in overtime on the weekends.'"

MLP, tighten up for existing in the first place; the rest of us need to tighten up for tolerating this nonsense.


Jordan said...

Love the gray suit comment. Bravissimo! This T-U is so devastating, I'd be surprised to see MLP last another month.

mandy said...

Life Partner?! No, but maybe I can consult with a "matchmaker" before my next big job interview: I will need help finding the perfect sassy scarf.