20 June 2007

One Example in the Long List of Tightness Needed in Texas

A crowd gathered at an annual Austin, Texas festival recently assaulted and beat a man to death who was a passenger in a car that minorly injured a girl by hitting her at low speed. According to reports, David Morales, the passenger, got out of the car to check on the little girl when he was set upon by a few dozen festival goers and eventually died at a local hospital of blunt force trauma. Come on. I mean really. I expect this sort of thing out of Pakistanis or Somalis, but Texans? Not only did they beat a guy to death on the streets, they beat the WRONG guy to death. He wasn't even the one that hit the girl, who, by the way, was totally fine and released from the hospital a few hours after the incident. So, in honor of our recent 100th tighten up, I am giving a double scolding to the festival attendees in Austin. Tighten Up and Calm the F*$k Down!

As an aside to all our readers not from the US, Texans are totally crazy and the only reason I am posting this is because I am far too afraid to say something like this to a real live Texan. Seriously, they are nuts. Oh, and they're armed. Crazy and armed. Don't say I didn't warn you. Aside from that Austin really is a fun place to visit...

3 comments:

mandy said...

Oh, snap! The passenger . . . DAMN!.

... but I'd still really like to check Austin out sometime.

The Becca said...

Shit. That's horrifying.
(but you're hilariously right about Texas.)

Matthew said...

wow. man, ok, so violence like this is senseless anywhere it occurs. I'm not defending any fellow Austinites, but mobs happen everywhere, particularly when drinking and an injured toddler are involved. Since everyone is armed in Texas (because we are all ninja rednecks), I'm surprised no one pulled a gun. This is just really sad.