10 April 2008
An Olympics of Terror! Remember how tight the Olympics used to be?
Remember how exciting the Olympics used to be? Keri Strug, Dominique Dawes, Shannon Miller? Even better, Mary Lou Retton. Those were the days! Remember their boyish bodies and their squashed, little faces?
Well this year, the fun is ruined. Ruined because its an Olympics of Terror. Terrible protestors! Protesors getting all "stop harvesting organs, free Tibet, falun gong blah blah."
Tighten up protestors and stop terrorizing the Olympians and stop terrorizing my riveting coverage of the torch. In honor of Olympians past and the glitz and glamour of little girls in onesies who resemble little boys with sensible haircuts...spinning. jumping. flipping. I bring you this little gem: Keri Strug's heroic vaulting ankle twist. Perhaps the only thing more heroic in this video is Mama Strug's personal style. Those glasses, that flag print, and the bangs! Happy Olympics 2008!