07 April 2008
Small child is delusional.
To the little girl who just darted past me in some kind of half-assed attempt to prove to her nearby mother that she's a major Speedy Gonzalez, tighten up! Seriously, you're not nearly as fast as you think. You said something like, "You can't catch me, I'm so fast!" Right kid, right. Look, you're 2.5' tall, tops, and I'm pretty sure your short mom could catch you pretty easily. I'm 6'2", and I bet you a bottle of Flintstones Vitamins that I could crush you in the 40m, 100m, high jump, long jump, and mile run. And if my friends and I got a relay team together, we would annihilate you and your toddler cohort in every major track and field event, and I'm pretty sure in most other sports too.
So fast? No, not so fast. Kids are stupid.