29 March 2008

God damn it evil scientists.

Today, I witnessed one of the most awesomest bylines I have ever read, ever. I stopped by the NY Times today and saw that they were leading with this:

Other versions before publication:

"Two joes do their best to save world from malevolent brainiacs hellbent on starting up ravenous doomsday device. Can they do it? Can two schmoes save the world? First a message from BLAMO brand X-ray glasses -- BLAMO! Hey adolescent, want to look at naked chicks?"

"Area men wonder what you feed a giant particle accelerator. Earth? Fuck, let's not do that."

"Scientists once again loose sight of the grander scheme of things because they only focus on their nerd projects until those dumb projects start fucking stuff up and why do those people think they're so smart anyway, just cause they did good in school, fuck school, I could have been a scientist but then I realized that being a scientist totally sucks balls. HAHAHAHHA. Just look -- they were all having a nerd convention and guess what happened? -- A giant fucking earth eating machine, so here is the thing -- they think they are so smart, but it turns out they are fucking idiots cause we live on the earth and if it was eaten by the fucking accelerotomer then everything is eaten INCLUDING THE ACCELEROTOMER, haHAhaHA, scientists are totally fucking nerdtards.

I'm insecure."

I could go on forever. When did the Nytimes turn into the Weekly World News?

1 comment:

Pepper said...

evidently, not so long ago:

tighten, science jerks.