Report from the front lines of New York's Irish pubs:
CNN reports that a midtown Irish pub owner is banning the tune "Danny Boy" for the month of March on the grounds that it's overplayed, depressing, and not really Irish, i.e. written by an Englishman who never went to Ireland. Well tightened, sir.
TUR-approved alternative: If I Should Fall From Grace With God by The Pogues
[suggestion submitted by Kevin J. Kelly, upon request by the author]