07 March 2008
Jellyfish are cowards
Jellyfish need to tighten up. I've got no problem with an animal developing mechanisms to protect itself. In fact, that's pretty damned clever. From prison shanks to squid ink to skunk sauce, there are some pretty ridiculous strategies out there.
But the damned jellyfish have got to give it a rest. I could understand a sting if I was preying on you, or maybe if my awesome cigarette boat ground up your buddy Todd last weekend at the big boat rally races. But if I'm splashing about on the beach, minding my own business, don't sneak over, all stealth and squirty, and sting me and my friends because your other buddy, Randy, dared you to.
Seriously man, at least announce yourself with some cool hissing noises, or sparks, or maybe a sweet odor too delicious to mean anything but imminent nervous system failure. Beat it, jelly, or I'm coming after you, Todd, AND Randy with a damned trident, and then I'll put you on my wheat toast.