Well old boy, it's been a good run. You were my first laptop. We wrote a lot of good papers together, stole a lot of music, and processed a lot of fun pictures. Your faux wood paneled handrest got a lot of looks, and your Inspiron 4100 moniker was...inspirational.
But let's be honest, you haven't been keeping up lately, man. You've only got one USB port. It takes you 20 minutes to turn on, and even then I can barely run Firefox and Acrobat Reader without you hyperventilating. Your 20 gig hard drive, once an enormity, just isn't enough for me anymore. Worst of all, your power cord is so barely attached that sometimes when a butterfly flaps its wings in Central Park, you threaten turning off. And for god's sake, you don't even have wireless capabilities without eating up that USB port.
Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss you. I think the MacBook's silvery finish is a little much, and I prefer your smaller size, but Jesus, man, you let yourself go. I'll never forget you, but I've got to tighten up and have a machine that will tack where I tack.
Semper Fi old friend--you've served well. But I'll never buy another Dell as long as I live.