03 October 2007

Jimmy Carter could rewrite history...

but pusses out. Again.

Jimmy Carter, every American's favorite blowhard, peacenick, peanut-eating, orangutan of an ex-president proved once again he doesn't have sac enough to stand up for anything he believes in (i.e. freedom of assembly, threatened minorities, the downtrodden, etc.).

"You can't go. It's not on the program!" the local security chief, who only gave his first name as Omar, yelled at Carter, who is in Darfur as part of a delegation of respected international figures known as "The Elders."

"We're going to anyway!" an angry Carter retorted, telling security officers they didn't have the authority to stop him.

As a growing crowd gathered around the former president, Carter's U.S. security detail and his African Union escort tried to ease tensions. Carter later agreed to a compromise in which tribal representatives would be brought to him at another location later in the day.

JC, it's fine and good to talk a big game about human rights, freedom, and whathaveyou, but you actually have to act once you're in the game. After four years of uncontrolled inflation, allowing the energy crisis begun in 1973 to go unchecked, ceding control of the Middle East's wealthiest country to a group of fundamentalist clerics, and allowing American diplomats to be imprisoned for 444 days while overseeing the first mission (and largest failure) of US combined special forces, probably the best thing that could happen for your legacy is getting popped in Africa while trying to protect some villagers from being slaughtered. Way to fuck that up too.

Way to once again back down when given the chance do something about your 'convictions' while backpeddling furiously to cover your own ass. Jimmy, you too don't get to rewrite history.

Jimmy, tighten UP. You will be remembered as one of the weakest and categorically lousiest leaders in American history. Please spare us your 'heal the world, make it a better place rhetoric.' Please spare us your 'if onlies.' Please spare us your appeasement.

Please, pretty pretty pretty please, just for the sake of the children and the Asian countries, please, tightenthefuckupalready.


Brenda Starr said...

Good thing Jimmy Carter will never die ... he has plenty of time to work on tightening.

Pete said...

Greatest picture of Carter ever. Nice Operation Eagle Claw shout out. I prefer the Chuck Norris version, "Delta Force." A CN roundhouse kick to the head would go a long way to tightening up Carter, if he could survive it that is (he'd be the first).

Pepper said...

I heard Jimmy Carter's bones are hollow, like those of birds.

mandy said...

lolz: Avian Bone Disorder