04 February 2008

Chinatown Bus Edition


To the small child sitting several rows back,

Young sir, it is indeed cause for celebration that you have learned to count--by all predictions, this ability will lead you to great success in the future. As a community of Chinatown bus passengers, we rejoice in your newfound abilities. However, after being thoroughly convinced of your abilities by, say, the 10th minute I was on the bus, I respectfully request that you (with your mother's assistance) tighten up and count to yourself. Need to get my Chinatown beauty rest.

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To the gentleman toting the NexTel direct connect 2-way wireless telephone,

I understand that it must be quite a coup for you to be able to communicate with your friends via this very handy and cheap feature on your cellular telephone, but please tighten your shit up and stop using it on the bus. Every 5 minutes. While I'm trying to work.

4 comments:

mr roboto said...

counting baby no probrem. it count. you no ride.

Pete said...

You know what is really untaught? Amtrak just raised their already ludicrously high prices. This TU belies a broader public transit TU for this country.

Pepper said...

Pete, let's co-author that shit. The time has come.

Brenda Starr said...

I think they should have a non-baby policy. Or at the very least make them ride with the luggage.
Put them in the cat carrier - boom - quiet ride.*



*Note to children's services Brenda Starr does not plan on having children any time soon. .